The Open Ego
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The first workout of the Open is validated and we just turned in our scores for the second workout of 2015. How are you feeling about it? Are you proud or are you reasoning the score away? Which path you take is telling of your mental state.
Anything you do you should be proud of! The Open is not easy and many of the movements were foreign to you only several months ago or the weight was too much. Not everyone is cut from the same cloth and those of you who decided to register for the Open are a rare breed. Why this is can be traced back to childhood when we learned a powerful survival program: finding a pack who provided for us a sense of love and self worth. The flip side to this program is negative talk, a lack of confidence to stray from the crowd, and opposition to make ourselves vulnerable. It's vulnerable to sign up for a worldwide competition and submit your scores. What if someone beats you? What if your best turns out to be horrible? What if the Open workout chews you up, spits you out and never calls you again? None of these scenarios are comfortable, nor do they build up self worth and love (at first), nor do they provide security from being seen as the best exerciser. The ego can easily be hurt by taking the hard road of CrossFit and the Open and that is why so few people take it.
When the ego gets hurt it doesn't want to admit responsibility. It will rationalize away the experience by finding outside factors: "I didn't do too well cause I slept like crap. It was a long day at work. I had some bad food earlier. I could have done better if the chalk was closer. My foot didn't go into the rower easily and that cost me time so I would have won." Blah blah blah. These negative thoughts and externalizations are what is exactly holding you back. You must be happy with what you have done but that is not to be confused with satisfied. You won't make progress until you accept your current reality. When you notice your fear and ego starting to talk again - stop it! Stop your train of thought and recognize what is going on. Change your mental talk and your emotions. Instead of finding excuses as to why you could have performed better, you should look at what those ahead of you are doing right and learn from them. Be happy that you turned in a performance and stepped up to the plate. Be happy that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and uncomfortable. You took the hard road - easy is a trap.
As the Open continues on you must see this as a celebration of a worldwide workout, leaderboard, and gym. Take pride in what you do and praise others who beat you. See the negative emotions in you and change them. See your mistakes and learn from them instead of detaching from them. Take these lessons into the third week of the Open and may the workouts ever be in your favor.